Should You Tell Your Date That You Have Herpes?

By Savannah Francis

So you’ve been single with herpes for a little while, none of your friends are aware of the fact that you have herpes – but insist that it’s time for you to get out and start dating again. Being the caring friends that they are, they set you up on a blind date. Now in your mind, this is the worst thing that could possibly happen – however you decide to go on this date anyway as to not embarrass your friends. The date seems to be progressing well, but now you are faced with one question – should you tell your date that you have herpes?

First, let’s get a few herpes facts out of the way:

1. Herpes is spread through skin to skin contact, this includes kissing as well. If you have herpes of the mouth, you can spread it by kissing.

2. Herpes can be spread even when you show no outward signs of an outbreak.

3. Herpes of the mouth can be transmitted to the genitals during oral sex.

Now that you have been reminded of how herpes is spread, let’s answer the question of how and if you should tell your date. Although the herpes virus poses no threat to life, the disease is still very much misunderstood and demonized. Herpes is often the butt of the joke amongst the younger generations and this can make disclosing your status very uncomfortable. Unless and until you are very comfortable with the fact that you have herpes, it is not necessary to out yourself on the first date.

Before you consider telling a potential new partner about your herpes status there are a few things that you may want to think about:

1. Trust: Can you trust this person? No matter how comfortable you are with your herpes situation, not everyone needs to know that you are infected with the virus. If you tell this person, can you trust that they will keep it in confidence and not try to humiliate you amongst mutual friends or strangers?

2. Is there a future: Even though it’s just a first date, you have to ask yourself if you really see any future dates with this person. If you’re pretty certain that there won’t be any more dates, then save yourself the trouble. However if you believe there will be multiple dates afterward know that you will eventually need to tell your new friend about your oral or genital herpes.

Not every date leads to a relationship or intimacy, so you should not feel compelled to talk about herpes until you have really confirmed whether or not there is any long term potential. If the idea of dating outside of the herpes community scares you – there are dozens of online herpes dating sites available. Visit herpes dating advice today for more tips.

Additional Reading:

Positive SingleSupport site for herpes members.

Stop Herpes Now and From Coming Back For Good by Dr David Hoggs

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